December 2009
34 posts
My Megabus, en route to NYC, is just passing the Linden Cogeneration Plant, which brings back memories of Route 1 and a failure solo road trip to nothing. That night, I ended up in Times Square, shocked at how bright the sidewalks were at night. I ripped the last strip club flyer out of a promoter’s hand and laughed at how hard he held on to it. He really didn’t want to give it away to...
Tonight the squeaking of the escalator in the East Falls Church Metro was oddly musical. It sounded a little like the woodwind section of a jazz orchestra warming up before a show.
“There are the words themselves, and then, behind or around or beneath the words,...”
– J.M. Coetzee, Slow Man
1 tag
Duck D*ck →
This is a pretty amazing video of a duck ejaculating. Duck penises must grow long and twisty in order to fit inside the female duck’s corkscrew-shaped vagina. The result looks kind of like an octopus tentacle.
We should be glad we monkeys evolved big brains instead of ducks. Imagine what porn would have been like.
Supermarket
We go to a different one than usual because there’s more parking there. It’s twice the size of the place I go in Chicago, and has its own cafe and sushi bar. The older women who browse the aisles are impossibly put together, each one wearing, without exception, a brooch and a sweater in some calming shade of gray.
My mom pulls the cart up alongside me. It contains three six-packs of Coke Zero,...
Night plans
My father is hosting his office Christmas party at our house tonight. I told my mom I had nothing to wear, so she gave me one of my Christmas presents early: a steel blue empire-waist cotton dress with chiffon detailing at the neck. It looks good on me. My mom says that I should make a point of wearing more expensive clothing. I think my Mom should make a point of finding me a more highly paid...
“I always imagined that it would be just a huge empty blackness with the other...”
– What would a real space battle look like? (via things magazine. Inspired by Gizmodo.)
Crass materialism
I WANT THIS SKIRT
http://www.urbanoutfitters.com/urban/catalog/productdetail.jsp?id=17571506&itemdescription=true&navAction=jump
The guy in the tumblr t-shirt ad that shows up on the right of my dashboard is not doing his job. I mean, he doesn’t look excited at all to be wearing that T-shirt. He just looks depressed and washed-out. Kind of like they took some guy from the tumblr web development team and were like, hey, you have a beard, that’s kind of cool. Let us take a picture. And he was having a really bad...
Going Home
I am worried about my houseplants. They’re loyal friends who I don’t water enough. What if they rot away like the Mexican food my former roommate left in the refrigerator while I’m gone for Christmas break? Two weeks is a long time.
After a while, even a very new place starts to entwine you in obligations that draw you back quicker and quicker.
Pandora advice
For over a month, Dirty Projectors Radio has been my default background music for working on the computer. During that time, it pretty much played the same fifteen pretty songs over and over, which was good, because too much new music distracts me. I rarely “disciplined” it. Then all of a sudden, about forty-five minutes ago, it veered suddenly into new classic-rock-sounding musical...
A major impediment to learning to cook: all food is more delicious when it is prepared by someone else. Lunch meats in particular are transformed by passing through another’s hands. I’m not sure what this says about me except that I like being taken care of.
Three Ways To Measure Change Over The Last Three...
1. Decreasing curliness of hair
2. Increasing distance from McLean, VA
3. Accumulation of Leonard Cohen albums
WatchPhoenix Fire Literary Magazine, Fall 2009 Issue
Writing by my students! (The viewer doesn’t work so well on the dashboard, but click on it to see it full screen.)
Land of Talk Concert
When Elizabeth Powell rocks out she opens her mouth wide like a hungry baby bird.
This picture is not a good example.
Neither is this one.
Faux Friendship - The Chronicle Review - The... →
Did you know that by reading this blog, you’re destroying our friendship? You asshole.
“Gladwell promised readers mastery of the complex and competitive world around them, if only they would accept the facile conclusions he extrapolated from the findings of the many endearingly eccentric, iconoclastic scholars and researchers who were busy applying the scientific method to the investigation of everyday living. These scientists tended to share a universal message: contrary to...
via ManBabies.com
WatchApple is slated to release their answer to the Kindle, the ”Tablet,” in early 2010. Here is Sports Illustrated’s demo of a Tablet version of their magazine. I hate the Kindle but I actually think this looks kind of cool.
Current Temperature
It’s two degrees Fahrenheit, negative twenty with wind chill. Even my big parka could not keep out the cold this morning. The only upside: I am constantly reminded of Iceland. To console myself as I shivered at the bus stop, I pretended that I was actually on my way to the Blue Lagoon.
Joan Didion is not quotable. This is not because she is a bad writer, but because she is a good one. Her meaning builds up in layers. You can peel one off, but it’ll be too thin on its own to be of any use.
My roommate moved out and left all this food in the refrigerator. I asked her if I could eat up the fruit and dairy she’d left since it was going to go bad and she said, “Yes, have it all.” So today I am rescuing a Honeycrisp apple from putrefaction. It’s sweet, with just a few brown spots. It’s also larger than two big men’s fists put together. This sort of...
“My evolution is from the beginning of time, so I start as a cell [she shows me a...”
– Lady Gaga Explains Her Tour: Evolution Meets The Apocalypse - lady gaga - Jezebel
“I feel that if I can show my demise artistically to the public, I can somehow...”
– Lady Gaga - An Exclusive Interview with ELLE’s January Cover Girl
Nonstory
Tonight for at least thirty seconds I was sure I had forgotten my keys at work. I was outside my apartment fumbling in my backpack, without a phone, without a roommate, without refuge from the bitter cold. Tears imminent. When two things happened.
First, I was hit by a sudden urge to hear “Hide and Seek” by Imogen Heap. The song isn’t very good as music but her harmonizer-ed...
